Friday, 20 December 2013

India's End of Term Report

"...India has enjoyed a mixed year in 2013. It is disappointing to note that her promises to do better in the field of physical exercise came to nothing and she ends the year as dismally unfit as she began it. She has also failed to improve her level of organisation and tidiness: not only is her desk an utter disgrace but also a potential public health hazard. (Given her total lack of aptitude in Biology, her excuse that she is studying the growth of mould on cold tea rings rather hollow.) Her personal presentation remains an issue, as the unfortunate postman will certainly testify.

Nowhere is her lack of application more notable than in the upkeep of her blog. This might be more forgivable if the posts she did manage to write were more interesting, and less centred on flimsy excuses for their scarcity. Disappointingly, her annual piece on Christmas adverts has not materialised, and the fact that she has made so few posts this year that one only has to scroll down the page to find the last one is, frankly, little consolation. Although she did manage to attend the RNA Conference and the Winter Party she did not provide a report of either event, or any photographs. Holidays and 'research trips' have gone similarly unrecorded, giving rise to the suspicion that these have been little more than opportunities for more aimless loafing in alternative locations.

It is somewhat encouraging to note that the book she has been writing is actually completed and has been submitted (though one can only shake one's head in despair at the fact that is not the same book she blogged about in March, which was set aside soon after the post appeared). Her forays into Pinterest and Instagram are laudable, though rather dismal at present. (Since most of her Pinterest boards are secret, one has to question whether she fully grasps the concept?) Here, as in so many other areas India must try harder.

In short, India needs to spend less time gossiping on twitter and scouring the internet for 'James D'Arcy shirtless' and 'Henry Cavill in a G.I. uniform' and more time tidying her desk and going to the gym. She also needs to understand that a day spent lying on the sofa reading other people's novels does not constitute 'work', in the same way that half a chocolate orange does not constitute 'fruit' (and cannot therefore be counted in the Five-a-Day total.) If she can achieve these things, and also expand her cooking repertoire beyond pizza, spaghetti Bolognese and chocolate chip cookies, there will be some grounds for optimism for 2014.

Wishing you all the very best for a hugely happy Christmas..." (and lots of love to you all. See you next year! xx)


wannabe a writer said...

Hi India,

Loved your end of term report, although I was rather shocked to learn that lying on the sofa reading other people's novels doesn't constitute work. I will definitely have to reconsider my work ethic for 2014.

Have a good Christmas.


India said...

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Linda. Of course, in the holidays, draping yourself over the nearest sofa with a book in your hand is compulsory - don't let anyone tell you any different!

Have a lovely time xx

Jane said...

Congrats on finishing the book, India. I haven't seen James D'Arcy since he was in a Marple episode. Does he have a new TV show or movie coming out? Pop a Christmas cracker for me. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

India said...

Hey Jane - Happy New Year! Hope you've enjoyed the holidays. I happened to turn on the television over Christmas and saw JD in that very Marple episode, which was a nice surprise. I think he's been pretty busy with films lately - he was in Cloud Atlas, and if course Madonna's W.E. Which had quite a lot of publicity over here. Not sure what's next though (I must be getting lazy with my stalking...)

Miss Bougie said...

Ah India, happy New Year to you too. ;)
Reading a book on the sofa is called "filling the well", didn't you know?

hugs et bises