Friday, 18 April 2008

It's not fair!!

Last night, while sitting in a PTA meeting at school, I got a text from my lovely cousin. Opening it surreptitiously under the table, I was instantly transported about three hundred miles (and about the same number of years) away from catering arrangements for the summer fair by this picture. It's the view from the beach in Western Scotland where we all spent endless childhood holidays together, and in her message she said she was there for a friends wedding on the beach, and was at that very moment watching the sunset and drinking whisky. I almost expired with envy right then, before we'd even reached Any Other Business. (I wonder if that would have appeared in the minutes? Mrs India Grey turns a funny shade of green and falls off her chair, muttering incoherently about where it all went wrong...)

It was a pretty bad day all round for the Green Eyed Monster, since earlier on the postman had delivered to me a copy of Viking Warrior, Unwilling Wife sent by the wonderful Michelle Styles, and featuring just the hottest cover guy in existence. I mean, seriously pulse-quickening, with untidy, bed-tousled hair and a perfect profile. See?

Not a beige polyester shirt or shaving rash in sight. Who do you have to buy chocolate for to get covers like this?

In addition to my acute envy-itis, at the moment I am also suffering from a severe case of Short Attention Span. This is an uncomfortable condition whose symptoms include a pressing need to browse ebay for obscure items, a sudden obsession with filing my nails and applying handcream, and an irresistible compulsion to run downstairs every four and a half minutes to check email and see whether anyone’s added any new clips of Alex from the Apprentice to Youtube (Oh yes! They have!) Its main side effect is painfully slow progress on the book. It’s a comfort to know that Natasha Oakley is similarly afflicted, but if anyone knows of a cure (preferably involving an afternoon nap and a bar of Toblerone, or something nice like that) please let us know. Otherwise I might inadvertently find myself heading up the M6 for Scotland...

5 comments:

Michelle Styles said...

Yes, well my editor did email the jpeg of that cover and it is now up on my wall as he is very inspiring.
Can you specify no polyester for your heroes?
And LOL on the goregous sunset.

Donna Alward said...

Am laughing at expiration due to sunsets and cover models.

I'm dying to get a look at my next cover. Sigh.

Natasha Oakley said...

She doesn't look very unwilling, does she! vbg I think the 'viking warrior's' expectations must be unrealistically high!!

I'm going to try the toblerone remedy asap. I reckon it has possibilities ...

Natasha Oakley said...

And, sadly, it does. Can I just mention, for all UK residents, W H Smiths is selling off their big bars for £1.00. Absolute disaster.

India said...

I'll give it a try, Michelle. No polyester, and no beige. But I'd rather just specify THAT MAN!

Have you loved your covers so far Donna? I adored my first, but the second was a big disappointment (and the third, which I've just seen, isn't great either) Let us know what the verdict is when you finally get your hands on it!

Let's face it Natasha-- who would be? Unwillingness just wouldn't be appropriate with a man like that looming over you. Positively rude, in fact.

(And if that Toblerone information is revenge for the Dime Bar cake, then let's just say your work is done. A pound! Buying anything less than five would have been economic madness, wouldn't it? But what to do with them now...?

Oh yes. I know...)