Tuesday, 9 October 2007

SCRUBBERS ANONYMOUS

Following the last post, this is my new online support group for writers everywhere who find themselves seized by the hideous compulsion to clean out the U-bend and hoover the insides of the kitchen cupboards every time they switch on the computer to write

Forget Anthea Turner and the dangerous lure of her mindless domestic routines. Come over and join me on the dark (and slightly dusty) side...


15 comments:

Margaret McDonagh said...

I'm not sure I'm going to be a very good member as I can honestly say I never feel the urge to scrub!!!!!!!!! It's just not in my nature!! Procrastination, yes, but not via scrubbing!!

I am deeply worried and distressed at the thought of Ray-Anne ironing socks. Please tell me that was a joke? Serious help needed here otherwise. Likewise a friend of mine who irons T-towels and face clothes. Please!

And, worst of all to a slovenly wretch like me, is the woman who lives someway along my road who was seen and reported to have been scrubbing and washing her wheelie bin! I mean, it lives outdoors for rubbish!! I needed resuscitation after hearing that tale.

Here's to writers' hovels everywhere!

Love,
Mags xx

Margaret McDonagh said...

PS - That was meant to say face cloths. Flannels, in other words.

And when I moved, I ditched the old iron and never replaced it. I highly recommend it. More liberating than burning the bra!!!!!

Love,
Mags xx
(now going to do some work, honest!)

Rachel said...

I did dream about that lump of ice at the back of the fridge last night and seriously considered dealing with it (but only after having been shamed about it, hmm? AND the fact mother is baby sitting on Friday and will spot it, ulp).
Nevertheless,morning came and sense prevailed,far too time consuming when I could be procrastinating here or looking up weird people wot I have known on Facebook(without registering, far too cowardly for that.)
Ooo yes, India, forgot to update you about the filthy, squalid oven situation. Problem solved--the boss is buying me a new one. Slutty, moi? Yep!
Love,
Rach.
XX

India said...

Oooh Margaret, I definitely think you should be our chief counsellor. Anytime the urge comes upon me to do inappropriate cleaning I shall look to you for therapy to get me back on track!

Rachel I am in total jaw-dropping respect at your oven-cleaning avoidance technique. You can have the first Scrubbers Anonymous gold star (slightly tarnished, of course) and wear it with pride.

Eva said...

Yesterday hubby and I polished the wainscotting. How am I doing?

Anne McAllister said...

I'm with you, India. Anything to get away from the computer. The oven is even looking appealing.

India said...

Eva, this is bad-- but not desperate. Just make sure you write a hundred lines (of glorious, glowing prose) to counter-balance.

Anne, NO, don't do it!
Step back from the oven and PUT THAT CAN OF MR MUSCLE DOWN NOW!!!
Return to your computer quietly...

Jen said...

Hovels and novels is where it's at... not that I know where 'it' is. Probably hidden under a pile of ironing :0)

Brown said...

OMG, I feel such a sense of relief and welcome. I thought I was the only one who felt the need to clean every time I stared at those pages waiting for edits.

*sniff*

Here's my bottle of wine and my feather-duster...I'll just help myself to a cucumber sandwich and a seat...

Is there a chant or saying? You know, like in AA, they have "My name is Brown and I'm an alcoholic." (er, just so you know, I'm not).

Anyway, my name is Brown and I'm a clean instead of write, writer...

Amanda Ashby said...

Okay, so I think I have a solution to this little problem! Our new place is straight from the seventies - from the 'make your head' spin wallpaper (diferent pattern in every room) through to the poo brown marble-effect lino, and the best bit about it all? There are far too many patterns to even begin to notice where the dirt might be.

So, it's simple. All everyone needs to do is get rid of their tasteful decor, turn back the clock 35 years and your cleaning worries will be gone. Or, alternatively, you could just blog surf until the cleaning frenzy passes...

Michelle Styles said...

I am quite happy to join.
My problem is convinceing my dh that actually things being dusty etc is a healthy state. People who live in dirty houses have far fewer serious illnesses or something like that.
One of the reasons that I write so many books is housework avoidance. There is a direct crrelation between the state of my house and my output.
That fact I am melting wax to make candles says something...There again, the kitchen might be considered a health hazard...

Margaret McDonagh said...

I can see there is going to be a fair bit of work involved in curing some people of their cleaning urges!

Michelle is right about a bit of dirt not doing anyone any harm! And think of the positives. A good healthy layer of dust makes it really easy for you to write messages to yourself around the house!!!!!! Perfect for the forgetful.

Love,
Mags xx

India said...

Jen-- that can be our slogan; the one Brown (who's turned up with a bottle of wine, loudly claiming she isn't an alcoholic...)was looking for.

Having had my childhood (literally) overshadowed by kitchen wallpaper that would make you hallucinate I'm reluctant to go back there, although you've just explained why it became popluar in the first place which has always been a mystery to me. It was the era of nylon sheets too...

Michelle, we have to get badges made or something so your dh will understand that it's part of an important global writers' movement, and not just a symptom of deep laziness, oh no. If he has any doubts you'll have to put him in touch with Margaret!!

Angie said...

I was directed to your blog yesterday after posting about my avoidance of writing by cleaning half the house and then organizing storage bins. Looks like I'm in good company!

Anyway, thought I'd say hello and I like your blog.

India said...

Glory be, Angie, and welcome! You'll be pleased to know that you're now officially BANNED from all cleaning and organising-- so if and when the urge strikes please check in for counselling!!