Of course, in an ideal world it would all be just how it is on the Marks & Spencers advert, with everyone in perfectly coordinating clothes, several feet of pristine snow and members of Take That popping round, brandishing expensive presents (all bought from M&S, so you can take them back easily.) However, the reality is that most of us are stressed, skint and slightly depressed that the children get twice as many party invitations as we do (and scrub up a lot better as well.)
Generally, this time of year is not a good time for turkeys or women, so here is my own personal countdown to Christmas; an antidote to the pressure of shopping, cooking, wrapping, icing and showing yourself up by crying at the school nativity play. I wanted to call it The Twelve Lays of Christmas, but my husband gave me one of Those Looks and walked away shaking his head disapprovingly. Spoilsport. Anyway, I opted instead for the slightly more decorous title India’s Christmas Crackers.
Here’s Number One. Forget the tantric sex, (or not...) ignore the plastic snow and just enjoy the gorgeous song and the fleeting glimpse of Sting at the height of The Hotness Years...
(You might want to pause this at 2 minutes 15 seconds...)
Gosh. Don't you just feel more full of peace and goodwill already? More next week!